Streams of ... Thought.

Disclaimer:

This was only meant to be a personal journal entry--to remain on the pages of OneNote--but it became so much more... A confession, of sorts--which is why I'm posting it here.  

There is a bit of ugliness in it...immaturity...selfishness...honesty.  I do not intend to instruct men.  I want to learn how to respect men.  It is essential to read from beginning to end. 

The thoughts and words that follow are a path of healing.  From quietly/secretly admonishing -- via a note not directed at any man in particular -- a note written to stand up for the injustice towards women -- (and probably for my own self-preservation/gratification), to seeking, to seeing, to conviction, ...to submission. 

Glory to God! -- In the words of Robert De Niro, "Youuuu..You're good."

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Dearest Men of God,

Women are not just one more thing to protect and tend as another ministry in your life.  Yes, you are our head, our covering--praise the Lord for His goodness and provision of a covering and protector!  But remember this, our heavenly Father has brought us to you--as a helper--a good thing--because it was not good for man to be alone.

Women are not like the wild animals and the birds in the sky--formed from the dust of the ground. 

Now the LORD God had formed out of the ground all the wild animals and all the birds in the sky.   (Genesis 2:19)

Woman was made from man.

Then the LORD God made a woman from the rib he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man.

The man said, “This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called ‘woman,’ for she was taken out of man.”

That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh.  (Genesis 2:22-24)

Accept us.

Power over the creatures was given to man, and as a proof of this he named them all. It also shows his insight into the works of God. But though he was lord of the creatures, yet nothing in this world was a help meet for man. From God are all our helpers. If we rest in God, he will work all for good. God caused deep sleep to fall on Adam; while he knows no sin, God will take care that he shall feel no pain. God, as her Father, brought the woman to the man, as his second self, and a help meet for him. That wife, who is of God's making by special grace, and of God's bringing by special providence, is likely to prove a help meet for a man. See what need there is, both of prudence and prayer in the choice of this relation, which is so near and so lasting. That had need to be well done, which is to be done for life. Our first parents needed no clothes for covering against cold or heat, for neither could hurt them: they needed none for ornament. Thus easy, thus happy, was man in his state of innocency. How good was God to him! How many favours did he load him with! How easy were the laws given to him! Yet man, being in honour, understood not his own interest, but soon became as the beasts that perish. (Matthew Henry's Concise Commentary on the Bible)

Pasted from <http://biblecommenter.com/genesis/2-19.htm>

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Dearest Women of the Lord,

"Your desire will be for your husband,

   and he will rule over you.”  (Genesis 3:16b)

Wait a minute...WAIT. A. MINUTE. 

Now that I'm finally being honest with myself and God, my first reaction whenever I read this verse is:   "Ugh"

How frightening is it to read that?! It makes my stomach heavy with fear.

We know no human man is perfect. We also know well this desire for our husband--be honest. Whether the Lord intends us to be married or not...I believe there is a desire within every woman for her husband. (Jesus - Groom, Church - Bride, etc…)

Now, why the despairing fear? - That's right...it's not just fear...it's despairing fear.

FIRST there is this desire planted deep within me for my husband...THAT I CANNOT DO ANYTHING ABOUT! I can't get rid of it, I can't replace it, I can't bury it...it's just there… so I can either just be stuck with it and fight against it for the rest of my life or accept it as from the Lord. GAH. Fine God.

Now what?

What's that?? He's going to rule over me?? Shit. Are you serious??? You're going to entrust me, your very own daughter to … to this? 

But Daddy….they're so...soo…. Vain…and a little bit dumb.  And they can be mean...and hurt...and abuse… They take advantage...

I can try to take control of him...I mean, Eve didn't even have to convince Adam to eat the fruit...she just gave it to him and he ate it!!! Are you serious, God???

No matter how hard I try to control him, he still rules over me...because I desire him...what is it I desire? His physical strength? His humor? His practicality and simplicity? Everything is just so linear to him. Uncomplicated. Black and white. Happy-Sad-Angry. Uninhibited. Makes decisions and just goes with it.

His man-li-ness.

And then I begin to see the actual state of my heart in this area…

I'm afraid of imperfect man. I do not trust him. He does not have my best interest at heart. Just...his own. How can  you do this to me? To us? Lord...Daddy...don't you love us? Don't you want good for us? How is this good?

He can hurt me.

Why can't you make him desire me too?? This isn't fair, God! He's going to rule over us AND we're going to desire him??? Why can't he desire us? (Not just physically).  That would make his ruling so much nicer. 

I know… I know... he doesn't think like me. Nor are Your ways like mine.

But... but... They think they're God's gift to women. Isn't it the reverse? 

  - No, we are not gifts given. We are not possessions. We are not commodities.

We are helpers brought unto... We are made from... We are bone of his bone and flesh of his flesh. If he hates us, he hates his very own bone and flesh. If he hurts us, he hurts himself. If he abuses and takes advantage of us, he does it to himself. If he gives up, stops fighting, cheats, runs… he's doing all these things to himself.

Oh sweet Jesus, have your way here on earth!! Holy Spirit, change our hearts.

You know what's going to happen, Daddy. You know what they're going to do with this power. You know how we're going to respond.

Lord, have mercy upon us.

Sweet, sweet Savior. Only you can straighten us out.

"However, let each one of you love his wife as himself…" (Eph. 5:33a)

"...and let the wife see that she respects her husband." (Eph. 5:33b)

"Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands." (Eph. 5:24)

Frickity frick frick.

Respect.

Submit.

...In everything.

Lord, change my heart and thoughts towards man. Forgive my spitefulness and bitterness. My own vanity and selfishness. Forgive me for not believing in you and your unconditional love and goodness. Restore me...Restore us, all of us. Give us grace to trust. We are not victims of man or woman, we are victims of sin--our own and that of others. In Christ's death and resurrection. In the life of the redeemed, we are protected. We are loved.

In the name of the One who makes it all possible, the Lord Jesus, the Christ.

Amen.

"Under fallen man, woman has been more or less a slave. In fact, under the rule of selfishness, the weaker must serve the stronger. Only a spiritual resurrection will restore her to her true place, as the help-meet for man." (Albert Barnes, Notes on the Bible, 1834).