A Short Sappy Story

“Where is she?” he said, as he entered the his home.

Was it really just six months since he had stepped down these steps in the opposite direction? So much had happened.

“In here!” was the reply from the other room.

As he walked into the house, memories and emotions flooded his senses.

Home. 
I'm about to meet my...my daughter.

Each thought on its own could have brought a man to tears.

“Keep it together. Keep it together. Do you really want this to be your daughter's first impression of you? She needs a man for a daddy.”

He couldn’t shake the emotions though, it was useless, he was tired, and home. He could let it all go here. He took one step into the room and his eyes began to burn and the lump in his throat began to choke him. He gasped for breath.

“Sweetheart?” said his wife. She looked up. She was sitting in their favorite chair. The chair that they squished into at her mother's house when they were first dating. The chair that they struggled to get from the front door to the living room in their tiny little bungalow.  The chair that Sofie glued herself to after she sent her husband off...because it was the closest she could get to being in his arms...because every once in a while, when the drafts blew just right, she could smell his smell...but only in that chair.

At the sound of her sweet, soothing voice, he broke down.

He didn’t want his baby girl to see him like this for the first time, so he made a beeline for the connecting room, where he tried to compose himself.

“Ben? Ben? Are you okay?" Sophie begged. She tried to get up, but...oh...the baby...She couldn't move fast enough.

"... Is he okay?” Sofie asked, hoping someone in the assembly of friends who had gathered to welcome Ben home, would answer...no one knew what to do.

"...Amanda?"

Sofie’s best friend, Amanda, stepped into action. She turned the corner to find her big brother in the half-finished sun-room Ben was in the process of remodeling when he received notice... Amanda put her hand on his shoulder.

“Why in the world did I tell her to invite everyone? What was I thinking?” he shout-whispered as he tried to push down the flood of emotions.

“Beats me! I told Sof it was a bad idea, but she said you insisted! Dummy.” Amanda smiled and patted him on the back. “Do you want me to kick them out for you? Tough guy?”

He elbowed her in the stomach.

 “Ouch!” she yelled. That made him feel a little better.

“Okay, I’m okay," he spoke to himself...out loud. Damn.

Amanda smirked, "PMA, big bro. Positive Menal Attitude...you tell 'im who's boss!"

Ugh! Breathe. Don’t cry. Smile. Okay... He took a deep breath, turned around and locked eyes with...Sofie... She had been standing there, just waiting. Everything within him wanted to run into Sofia’s arms and hold her until everyone else disappeared.  Her arms.  There was a baby in her soft white arms.

A baby. My baby. My baby girl. He still couldn’t quite fathom it, even with her less than five feet away.

Thank you, God. Thank you for protecting me. For saving me. Thank you for bringing me home. Thank you for this ... Tears began to prick his eyes again.

“Great!” He turned around again.

He was surprised by how easily prayer came to him now.  How quickly God sprang up into his thoughts. Just a few months prior, God was the last one on his mind, but after--everything--there was no denying Him.

He couldn’t wait to join Sofie in church on Sunday. She had been begging him to for years.

Why she married me, I’ll never know. What a woman. Pure. Lovely. Sweet. More in love with God than me...I get it now...

He remembered the fights.

“It always comes back to God with you!” he’d yell.

She’d smile back and say, “Yup!” Always with satisfaction on her face.

He didn’t get it, but he got it now.  God saved his life.  His heart is now forever bound to his Savior.

Suddenly he was back there, sweat pouring out of places he didn’t even know existed.

“When I get home, I’m selling my house and building in northern Alaska, or maybe Syracuse...Ithaca, perhaps... You with me? Sofie wouldn’t mind, right?” Jonathan said as they grabbed their gear and prepared to hop on the Humvee.

A typical mission. 

“Sure, as long as Amanda is there.  Have you heard from her?  How’s my niece?”

They got into the vehicle.

“Amanda took her to the doctor, she wasn't going to, but I told her as long as I’m gone, I will wear the pants in this family and she has no choice in the matter,” Jonathan smirked at his brother-in-law. 

“That’s right, you show her who’s boss! You know, I’d probably make Sof do the same thing with our...”

“Shit," Jonathan interrupted, "I forgot the radio and map.”

“Don’t worry, bro. I’ll go.”

...

That scene just keeps playing back over and over again in my head.

Why him? Why why not me? Why then? Why not when I was in the vehicle?  My brother...my sister and niece.

Sof’s right. I need to talk to the pastor.

I mean, we both have wives, God.

We both have kids...well mine’s on the way...

Baby Cassie let out a whimper.

Not on the way.

She’s here.

He turned to go back in and this time Ella was standing on her tippy toes trying to get a better look at the baby. Amanda could see where her brother's thoughts were and her eyes welled up with tears as she bent down to pick up her daughter.

“I went inside while he plugged in the ipod and got our mission playlist ready...” he explained.

“Mission playlist,” she choked out... Ella squirmed to get free. She put her down.

She watched as Ella played happily with the doll Jon had sent her for Christmas.

“Just some tunes, to pump us up for the mission, you know...”

"Mmmm..." Amanda hated the music they listened to, she’d always complain about the screaming and not being able to understand the lyrics. Now she can't get enough of it.

 “I watched it happen. I watched it from the safety of...”

“Stop it.”

“I wanted to.”

“No!" Amanda yelled at her brother. Then whispered, "It’s not...your fault...Ben...”

Not my fault.

Then why can't I seem to forgive myself?

“Jesus can help,” Sofia said on the phone after it all happened.

...


"Ben," Sofie's voice was always so comforting.

He was crying.

He couldn’t help it.

He stood right in front of his wife and daughter. Crying. Tears. Pouring down.

“Wow,” was all he could get out.

Sofie was glowing, more beautifully than they day he married her.

“Gorgeous,” he thought, “how did I get her?”

She placed Cassie in his hands.  Love overflowed.  Gratitude was all he knew now. 

He put his free arm around his wife and prayed as if no one else was there.

“Thank you, Father.  Thank you for Sofie.  Thank you for sending her to me.  Thank you for this beautiful gift.  Thank you for Cassie.  Thank you for my daughter and for your Son.  Thank you for saving me."

A Magazine Article on Partiality in the Church: Glorify God and Remember Others

Since the beginning, man has struggled with the sin of selfish gain and self-preservation. Adam and Eve were deceived because of their self-centered desire to become like God. Man wants recognition and honor: man wants to be noticed and appreciated above others; man wants glory. When Adam and Eve disobeyed the word of God and submitted to these desires, their initial response was to protect themselves by hiding.

This attitude of self-promotion and self-protection is very dangerous; it creates partiality and division. It is a snare to performers and singers, including those in the Church. Paul writes in his letter to the Philippians: “Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others.” He reminds us that the example we should follow in doing so is Christ Jesus himself. “Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus: Who, being in very nature God, did not consider equality with God something to be grasped, but made himself nothing, taking the very nature of a servant being made in human likeness. And being found in appearance as a man, he humbled himself and became obedient to death--even death on a cross!” (3:2-8).

As performers, it is very easy for us to get caught up in ourselves: to promote ourselves; to strive to win approval over others; to seek the glory for our efforts, our creativity, our time, our gifts. While we promote ourselves, we begin to serve man (i.e. a director, a producer, a worship leader), we cater to man’s approval as if he’s the one who decides where and how we use our gifts. We forget the One who gave us those gifts. He gave them so that we might serve Him by humbly serving His children. He gave us gifts so that He could use them to glorify Himself.

Give your gift back to God. Use it to honor Him. We become useless to Him when we don’t. Our worth comes not from our gifts, but from the One who gave them to us. When we forget this, we start to strive for our own honor, our own recognition, our own advancement and glory. We forget about serving others. We forget about the amazing gifts He has given those around us. We forget that by bringing groups of talented people together into one place, God has created a powerhouse for the advancement of His kingdom.

He has a purpose and use for each one of us and all that we have to offer. Rest. Wait patiently. Encourage each other. Appreciate each other, but remember that every gift comes from the hand of God, the Father. Be willing to take the back seat to someone else. God is using them. He is using you too and He will keep using you as long as you show faithfulness in administering the gifts He has so graciously blessed us with in you.

Devotional: A Call to Responsibility

A Call to Responsibility

“Just as our bodies have many parts and each part has a special function, so it is with Christ's body. We are many parts of one body, and we all belong to each other” (Romans 12:4-5, NLT).

As a part of the Body of Christ, you are necessary to the healthy function of the Church; especially the church you call home. When God calls you to a certain church family, He is asking you to be a member of that Body. The expected response should be one of dedication. Just as you would assume certain responsibilities as a member of your family, so it is with membership in the Body of Christ.

We must also recognize that our responsibilities increase as we mature. Our parents give us more responsibilities as we mature in our abilities. Thus, it is with God. When we are new Christians or new to a church family, we may not have as many responsibilities. As we grow in the Body of Christ (or once we discover where God is calling us), we must remember that our responsibilities will increase. We must realize that the church needs us as much as we need the church.

Just like the human body, the Body of Christ is made up of many parts and even though each part plays a special role, they all grow simultaneously. If the foot of a church body stays home one Sunday, it may not be that big of a deal. Nevertheless, if that foot continues to be absent, the rest of the body will grow without it, resulting in a full-size body with one crippled foot. That Body will not be able to function to its fullest capacity or potential, its ability to reach out into the world has been limited. Blessed is the church who calls on the Lord during such a time—seeking direction from its Head. Blessed are we who serve a merciful and loving God who hears and answers our prayers with divine healing.