Disclaimer:
This was only meant to be a personal journal entry--to remain on the pages of OneNote--but it became so much more... A confession, of sorts--which is why I'm posting it here.
There is a bit of ugliness in it...immaturity...selfishness...honesty. I do not intend to instruct men. I want to learn how to respect men. It is essential to read from beginning to end.
The thoughts and words that follow are a path of healing. From quietly/secretly admonishing -- via a note not directed at any man in particular -- a note written to stand up for the injustice towards women -- (and probably for my own self-preservation/gratification), to seeking, to seeing, to conviction, ...to submission.
Glory to God! -- In the words of Robert De Niro, "Youuuu..You're good."
_________________________________________
Dearest Men of God,
Women are not just one more thing to protect and tend as another ministry in
your life. Yes, you are our head, our
covering--praise the Lord for His goodness and provision of a covering and
protector! But remember this, our
heavenly Father has brought us to you--as
a helper--a good
thing--because it was not good for man to be alone.
Women are not like
the wild animals and the birds in the sky--formed from the dust of the
ground.
Now
the LORD God had formed out of the ground all the wild animals and all the
birds in the sky. (Genesis
2:19)
Woman was made from
man.
Then
the LORD God made a woman from the rib he had taken out of the man, and he
brought her to the man.
The
man said, “This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be
called ‘woman,’ for she was taken out of man.”
That
is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they
become one flesh. (Genesis 2:22-24)
Accept us.
Power over
the creatures was given to man, and as a proof of this he named them all. It
also shows his insight into the works of God. But though he was lord of the
creatures, yet nothing in this world was a help meet for man. From God are all
our helpers. If we rest in God, he will work all for good. God caused deep
sleep to fall on Adam; while he knows no sin, God will take care that he shall
feel no pain. God, as her Father, brought the woman to the man, as his second
self, and a help meet for him. That wife, who is of God's making by special
grace, and of God's bringing by special providence, is likely to prove a help
meet for a man. See what need there is, both of prudence and prayer in the
choice of this relation, which is so near and so lasting. That had need to be
well done, which is to be done for life. Our first parents needed no clothes
for covering against cold or heat, for neither could hurt them: they needed
none for ornament. Thus easy, thus happy, was man in his state of innocency.
How good was God to him! How many favours did he load him with! How easy were
the laws given to him! Yet man, being in honour, understood not his own
interest, but soon became as the beasts that perish. (Matthew Henry's Concise Commentary on the Bible)
_________________________________________
Dearest Women of the Lord,
"Your desire
will be for your husband,
and
he will rule over you.” (Genesis 3:16b)
Wait a minute...WAIT. A. MINUTE.
Now that I'm finally
being honest with myself and God, my first reaction whenever I read this verse is:
"Ugh"
How frightening is
it to read that?! It makes my stomach heavy with fear.
We know no human man
is perfect. We also know well this desire for our husband--be honest. Whether
the Lord intends us to be married or not...I believe there is a desire within
every woman for her husband. (Jesus - Groom, Church - Bride, etc…)
Now, why the
despairing fear? - That's right...it's not just fear...it's despairing fear.
FIRST there is this
desire planted deep within me for my husband...THAT I CANNOT DO ANYTHING ABOUT!
I can't get rid of it, I can't replace it, I can't bury it...it's just there…
so I can either just be stuck with it and fight against it for the rest of my
life or accept it as from the Lord. GAH. Fine God.
Now what?
What's that?? He's
going to rule over me?? Shit. Are you
serious??? You're going to entrust me, your very own daughter to … to this?
But Daddy….they're
so...soo…. Vain…and a little bit dumb.
And they can be mean...and hurt...and abuse… They take advantage...
I can try to take
control of him...I mean, Eve didn't even have to convince Adam to eat the
fruit...she just gave it to him and he ate it!!! Are you serious, God???
No matter how hard I
try to control him, he still rules over me...because I desire him...what is it
I desire? His physical strength? His humor? His practicality and simplicity?
Everything is just so linear to him. Uncomplicated. Black and white. Happy-Sad-Angry.
Uninhibited. Makes decisions and just goes with it.
His man-li-ness.
And then I begin to see the actual state of my heart
in this area…
I'm afraid of
imperfect man. I do not trust him. He does not have my best interest at heart.
Just...his own. How can you do this to
me? To us? Lord...Daddy...don't you love us? Don't you want good for us? How is
this good?
He can hurt me.
Why can't you make
him desire me too?? This isn't fair, God! He's going to rule over us AND we're
going to desire him??? Why can't he desire us? (Not just physically). That would make his ruling so much nicer.
I
know… I know... he doesn't think like me. Nor are Your ways like mine.
But... but... They think they're
God's gift to women. Isn't it the reverse?
- No, we are not gifts given. We are not possessions. We are not
commodities.
We are helpers brought
unto... We are made from... We are bone of
his bone and flesh of his flesh. If he hates us, he hates his very own bone and
flesh. If he hurts us, he hurts himself. If he abuses and takes advantage of
us, he does it to himself. If he gives up, stops fighting, cheats, runs… he's
doing all these things to himself.
Oh sweet Jesus, have
your way here on earth!! Holy Spirit, change our hearts.
You know what's
going to happen, Daddy. You know what they're going to do with this power. You know how
we're going to respond.
Lord, have mercy
upon us.
Sweet, sweet Savior.
Only you can straighten us out.
"However, let each one of you love his wife as
himself…" (Eph. 5:33a)
"...and let the wife see that she respects her
husband." (Eph. 5:33b)
"Now as the church submits to Christ, so also
wives should submit in
everything to their husbands."
(Eph. 5:24)
Frickity frick
frick.
Respect.
Submit.
...In everything.
Lord, change my
heart and thoughts towards man. Forgive my spitefulness and bitterness. My own vanity
and selfishness. Forgive me for not believing in you and your unconditional
love and goodness. Restore me...Restore us, all of us. Give us grace to trust. We are not victims of man or woman, we are victims of sin--our own and that of others. In Christ's death and resurrection. In the life of the redeemed, we are protected. We are loved.
In the name of the
One who makes it all possible, the Lord Jesus, the Christ.
Amen.
"Under fallen man, woman has
been more or less a slave. In fact, under the rule of selfishness, the weaker
must serve the stronger. Only a spiritual resurrection will restore her to her
true place, as the help-meet for man." (Albert Barnes, Notes on the Bible, 1834).
